Building emotional connection through real phone conversations
 | February 13, 2026 | 4 min read |
You’ve seen it in classic movies from the ’90s and earlier: teens talking on landline phones, laughing or sometimes crying, expressing their joy or angst with all the emotional energy we can muster at sixteen. Or at 35. Or maybe 70.
The point being: phone calls build connection and can change history, and they’ve been doing so since Bell made that first vital call to his assistant, Thomas Watson, 150 years ago.
But texting? It could actually be a communication barrier.
Emotional connection or emotional disconnect?
Today, phone users of just about any age are adept at texting. Why talk on the phone and get distracted by background noise, or waste time when you can get a quick response via text?
Let’s examine these assumptions:
First off, smartphones are distraction incarnate. If you want fewer notifications and distractions, you won’t get it with your smartphone, which is nearly dancing off the table with nonstop buzz. You’ll be interrupted more often than you might be on a landline—even if, on your landline call, a toddler keeps patting your knee for attention.
Silencing notifications doesn’t help much either, thanks to our global smartphone addiction, which causes the vast majority of us to compulsively check our phones. Disabling notifications also tends to increase FOMO, so stress stays high.
Second, there’s no emotional connection via text messages. Research indicates that hearing a person’s voice triggers the release of oxytocin, a hormone linked to bonding and trust. You can’t build this kind of emotional connection via text.
Miscommunication manifests more easily
Third, there’s no opportunity for voice inflection with text messages. Sure, you can use emojis to add some emotion, but how often have you sent a simple one-word text that was completely misinterpreted?
For instance: “Fine” might mean you agree, but if you add a period, as some people do automatically, the recipient may think you’re angry: “Fine.” Similarly, if you accidentally turn on caps mode and send a friendly message in all caps, it typically means you’re shouting. Ouch. That’s not the tone you wanted to convey at all.
Clearly, while some people think texting can build connection just as easily as talking on the phone, the potential for miscommunication and emotional disconnect looms large. A high-profile celebrity legal battle recently unsealed private text messages between an A-list actress and a global pop star. As the public feasts on the disclosure and social media pundits attempt to analyze what each participant meant, the fallout grows.
This ongoing drama has created a communication barrier between two formerly close friends. Once upon a text, they may have felt this form of communication helped build connection. But now, both probably wish they’d chosen to talk on the phone instead.
How to build connection on the phone
One reason so many Millennials and Gen Z (both nicknamed Generation Mute) prefer to text rather than talk on the phone is simply fear: making or receiving a phone call seems scary. Ask a young person, “Do you get anxious about calls?” and the response is likely to be an emphatic, “Yes!” Telephonophobia arises in part because, having grown up with smartphones, texting is perceived as a natural, safe way to communicate. They’re much more apprehensive about how to navigate a phone call.
Here’s help for telephonophobes:
- Know how to start a conversation. While a text typically doesn’t require any introduction among friends—or even relative strangers, such as your doctor’s office texting to confirm your appointment time—to talk on the phone, you have to begin with a greeting. A few examples: “Hey, it’s Joe.” You can also just say, “What’s up?” to someone you know well.
- After your version of hello, you can launch into the specific reason for your call: “My folks are taking us skiing over break, and Ginny and I each get to bring a friend. You wanna go?” Or words to this effect.
- Practice using a landline phone. If your Gen Z buddy wonders why on earth you’re calling instead of texting, especially on an old-school phone, you can explain how Mom and Dad are having the whole family do a digital detox. “They’re tuned into this minimalist lifestyle thing, and part of it is the return of the home phone, which we used when I was a kid. It’s kinda cool in some ways. We’ve been going on more family walks now that our devices are quarantined. Don’t laugh, but dude, I’m actually liking it. Yeah, had to ditch the FOMO, but there’s less stress for sure!”
Emotional connection is something that builds over time, in relationships between friends, business associates, and life partners. Before the advent of cell phones, landline phones kept us in touch with those we care about across time zones and life events.
Time marches on and phone conversations endure, helping us build connection wherever we are in the world or in our lifespan.
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Alicia Kalnawat, brand marketing manager at Ooma, is an experienced marketing professional driving successful multi-channel campaigns, product launches and creative strategy. She joined Ooma in 2022, bringing hands-on experience from the commercial real estate and insurance industries.
